Wednesday, February 18, 2004

soft soap opera music

We now return to Church Searches of Mark’s Life.

Even though I checked out a church every Sunday, it took me two or three months after I moved back to Texas before I found any church I felt I could join. Given my exacting requirements set forth earlier, that’s no wonder, even in the buckle of the Bible Belt. But I didn’t realize it would be that difficult at the time.

Before my move, I had some contact with the Presbyterian Church in America, a conservative offshoot from the mainline Presbyterians, and I liked what I saw. So that’s what I investigated first.

I visited the exiles from the church of my teen years, Casa Linda Pres. They were now a small PCA congregation with different name. It was great seeing old faces. But that was a problem as well. There were very few people my age. And it was just too long a drive it turned out.

I also visited a new PCA church in Lewisville, Texas – Christ Presbyterian. It just so happened they were led by a fellow Dukie InterVarsity friend, Dave Sherwood. I’m not sure why I didn’t consider them much afterward. In hindsight, I probably should have. I think I wanted something bigger with more women, I mean, singles. Dave’s pastorate continued on until very recently. I enjoyed a recent visit there and their traditional Reformed style of worship.

Still, it soon became clear there were no PCA churches that would do, even though at least these two were good churches.

Then there was another church. I think it was PCA. It met in a high school. The people were friendly. The very first impressions were good.

But as I sat during the service, I looked at the bulletin. And I couldn’t help but notice all the leadership positions were held by Mr. and Mrs. This and Mr. and Mrs. That. I searched the bulletin further for any sign that singles had any role there – and could find none.

Now, in hindsight, the church probably didn’t have that bad of an attitude toward singles. They were probably just clueless about how they might come across. And, yeah, being single was a big sore spot for me.

Still, it was the first time I can remember a church making me feel marginalized because of my singleness.

It wouldn’t be the last.

Restraining my emotions as best I could, I high-tailed it out of there as soon as the service was over.

I can’t remember all the churches I checked out. But one lady suggested I visit Big Dallas Bible Church (name changed, obviously), a non-denominational church. So I did.

Not knowing their strange service times, I arrived during a service and looked quite lost in the empty lobby I’m sure. But a man who seemed to be a leader was very helpful and went out of his way to answer questions and make me feel at home. Others seemed friendly as well, without being overbearing. And I liked the casual atmosphere. Even the pastor didn’t seem to be a coat-and-tie guy.

I was very impressed with the pastor. I quickly saw he was an excellent teacher, and he seemed a nice guy, too.

Oh yes, the Singles group was sizable. Hey, I had my priorities.

I attended orientation and was in agreement with almost everything. I did have issues with how they chose elders. They were appointed by the other elders, not elected. I felt this wasn’t very democratic and would tend to perpetuate any error among the elders. But after reflection, I saw it wasn’t very unbiblical, at least, and that there is no perfect church government.

Big Dallas Bible met all my criteria and I liked what I saw. I still didn’t know of any other churches meeting my requirements. So it wasn’t long before I joined and dived right in and got involved. And BDB was more or less a good church for me -- for five years.

And this, of course, is where I leave you hanging in [ swelling music ] Church Searches of Mark’s Life.

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